On this beautiful fake spring day, I’m sharing my favourite beauty discoveries. You can call them beauty tips, hacks, essentials, whatever you wish. I call them discoveries because each and every single one of them has taken my world by storm at one time or another and I can’t possibly keep all this knowledge to myself. They’ve been the kind of discoveries that had me wondering if everyone knew about this and I had been left out on some magnificent secret. So you may know about them, or, as I did at one point, not and your life is about to change for the better. You are so welcome. If any of these are actually toxic and bad recommendations just don’t do them but don’t tell me about it because I love them and I have no interest of taking them out of my life.
Without further a do, my top five:
Weight off my shoulders (ears?):
I learned this tip in high school and I still remember how shocked I was when I did. I love wearing beautiful massive earrings, but I don’t love the pain when they’re super heavy and I definitely don’t love the idea of my earlobes reaching my shoulders by the time I’m 40. So here’s the most amazing solution: micropore surgical tape. This is the kind of tape used to hold gauze in place when you have an injury, and something you can easily buy at any drugstore. You can cut this tape into little 1x1cms squares and stack two or three on top of each other. Then you paste them onto the back of your pierced earlobe. The idea is to make the earring to go through your ear and pierce through the tape to have the weight redistributed onto it, instead of the whole weight of the earring pulling down from the little pierced hole on your ear. I’ve just realized this is one of the most challenging things to describe, but I can’t possibly leave it out so I hope you get it. Best of luck, homies.
Sheet mask wonder, down under:
That’s right, putting a sheet mask on your vag, as in regular run of the mill face sheet mask. This isn’t even the weirdest it’s gonna get, please visit the next tip for freaky. But going back to the sheet mask, this has been a most pleasant discovery. Sheet masking my hoo ha is one of the most refreshing and relaxing beauty treatments I’ve done. As you may know if you’ve ever shaved your vag (or vulva if we’re being accurate), it can get irritated quite easily as the skin is rather delicate and a shaver can wreak havoc if not used carefully. No matter how much expertise you acquire, though, nothing will make it feel as soft and luxurious as a sheet mask after-treatment will. So step one, shave as usual. Step two, slap a sheet mask on. Step three, chill out spread eagle and watch your fave show. Step four, remove the mask after 10-20 mins, depending on the brand, and be fascinated by this gift of life. Step five, report findings.
I shed you not:
I could spend an entire post talking about this treatment so I’m gonna do my best to make sense of this madness in a few sentences. There’s a product called Baby Foot, you can order it on Amazon. The package includes two sock-like-shaped bags of sorts into which you can slip your feet. You leave them on for about 15 minutes and then remove the sock things and rinse your feet with some warm water. You go about life for about a week, and then it happens. It’s the most glorious/disgusting/spectacular thing you will experience. You straight up become a snake shedding. If you’re not into icky stuff I don’t necessarily recommend it, but personally, I was absorbed by it and obsessed with sending unrequested pictures and videos to everyone I consider close in life. It was great. It took about 3 weeks to shed all the skin so I would recommend not doing it any time around sandal season. After you’ve shed a few pounds off your feet, they’re like baby feet and incredibly soft. Does it last forever? No. Did it make a huge difference? Not really as my feet weren’t particularly dry to begin with. Would I still do it? 100% because it’s absolutely horrifying and fascinating and it gives you something to report on daily for about a month.
Dry shampoo breakthrough:
I found out this existed literally 19 days ago, and I feel personally victimized by everyone that knew about it and never mentioned it. It may be one of those things that you consider obvious but I was oblivious. To begin with I’m not a huge fan of dry shampoo. I think it’s stiff and smells too strong and I never feel like I can get rid of the white entirely. Full disclosure, I use it so rarely that I probably don’t know how to use it properly and therefore have the stiff/white results from it. BUT! brown. dry. shampoo. exists. WHAT. Yes my fellas, this is a thing. So if you have dark hair like yours truly, there’s a brown option out there for you. I’ve tried it a few times and I must say it’s gone quite well! Instead of having an instant patch of white on my head I frantically try to shake off, it now comes off brown, which makes it immensely easy to blend in and walk out. I’m definitely pleased.
K so I came across these babies through the magical realm that is the Insta explore tab. I wish I could find this video because it was absurd, but it was probably a 3 year old with inexplicably long hair being curled to madness. Not sure why this toddler needed perfect curls, and not sure either how her hair was so long, but I’m not here to question people’s lives. Basically, I was intrigued. Curling my hair has definitely burnt the hell out of it, but I go through phases and lately straight isn’t cutting it. Finding a heat-free solution seemed amazing. A few weeks later I saw it in the mall and it felt meant to be. This product is INSANE you guys. First time I tried it I had wet hair and simply got it into these roller thingies. Once the hair dried and I removed them the curls were the bomb dot com but fell flat rather quickly. Determined to make it work, I tried next time with hair spray. Holy freaking curls! They last about a day or two, although most times I brush through them to have looser curls than what I actually get on the go right away. I rarely use heat but every now and then I’ll use the hairdryer a bit just to speed it up, which is a whole lot less damaging than curling it with hot tools. I wash my hair, divide my hair into two sections, and spray each strand before I loop it through the curler (10 curlers per side). I wait for my hair to dry naturally in them and I pull them out. The process of getting the hair through the curlers takes me about 15 mins, and I usually leave them on for about an hour or two. Then I walk out and seize the day with my wonderful mane.
And that is all! I hope at least one of these came as a surprise, and I definitely hope to hear if you have any suggestions of your own or if you give them a shot. Talk to you soon lovas!